


Like Oxygen

by Koyote19



Series: Giving Gifts - A lovestory in reverse [2]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:52:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2775461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koyote19/pseuds/Koyote19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things, like breathing, are inevitable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Oxygen

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place before Giving Gifts, but while all three fics are technically able to be read as standalones, they are intended to be read in the order they are listed.
> 
> Written for a long overdue prompt request from Kaigou, who asked for Trowa and Duo, from the lyrics:
> 
> _And if I die before I learn to speak_  
>  Can money pay for all the days I lived awake  
> But half asleep?   
> \- Primitive Radio Gods

“How did you find me?” Resignation warred with stress in the soft voice, nearly drowning out the traces of fear that neither of them would admit to hearing.

“Did you really think we wouldn’t?” Trowa wanted to reach out, to touch the loose hair that had escaped from the tangled remnants of the familiar braid—to run rough fingers across the smear of mud like a bruise on one hollow cheek. Only the faint hope that if he didn’t screw up this time, he might eventually have the right to do so, kept his hand at his side. 

“I figured you would have given up by now.”

“It’s only been a year, Duo. You should have known him—and me—better than that.”

Dark blue eyes widened, darting around the confines of the small nursery yard before locking onto the shadow just inside the glass doors. Heero had his back to them, ostensibly eyeing a display of hanging baskets; neither of them doubted that all of his attention was still locked upon them. Duo swallowed hard, and Trowa could see the instinct to run battling with exhaustion in every line of his body.

“Is he…?” Duo trailed off, but Trowa could fill in the silence. _Is he angry? Does he hate me? Tell me he still loves you, that I didn’t destroy that too._

“No.”

“Then— then why?”

“I asked to talk to you first. He agreed, on one condition.” Trowa shrugged, trying to remain outwardly casual, aggression toned down and carefully hidden, along with amusement and apology. It was too soon, and he could see from the faint tremors in the younger man rocking slightly on the balls of his feet, that one wrong push now would destroy any chance of ever working things out. “I’m supposed to give you a message, before we talk this out.”

Wary eyes met his for just a moment. “What message?”

“If you run again,” Trowa smiled fleetingly, as Heero glanced over his shoulder briefly and glared at both of them equally, “and by some miracle actually get past him, he’ll just hunt you down again, but next time with a rifle and not a taser and handcuffs.”

Duo blinked, looking more than a little stunned. “He was, um—really upset, huh?”

“Upset?” Trowa resisted the urge to laugh, knowing that as tense as they both were, amusement was only a short step across the line from hysteria. “You snuck out of the hospital in the middle of the night like a fucking coward, when he was too strung out on morphine to stop you. And then you managed to actually hide your ass from both of us for almost a year. Upset really doesn’t quite cover it, Duo.”

“I said good-bye.” This time, the soft words were almost wistful. “I wasn’t trying to hurt him, Tro. You know that.”

“And leaving with no explanation wasn’t pretty much guaranteed to do that?”

“Did you want me to tell him the truth?” 

“You didn’t have to. I did.” 

“What?” Duo froze, staring up at him in shock. 

“What was I supposed to do, Duo? Let him think that you leaving was his fault?”

“It wasn’t his fault.” Duo shook his head numbly. “It was my fault—“

“No.” This time, Trowa did reach out, running long fingers through tangled hair. “It wasn’t, Duo. It was never your fault.”

“But— I—”

“You what?” Trowa waited, one brow arched questioningly. “You seduced me? Half- conscious, injured, wearing shackles and in a cell, you seduced me into betraying my lover and your best friend?”

Duo opened his mouth, but there were no words to be found to respond to that. 

“That is utter _bullshit_ , Duo, and we both know it.”

“But…”

“It was _my fault_ , Duo.” Trowa smiled sadly, one hand cupping his friends face lightly, thumb brushing across soft lips. “Because I’m the one that knew better, that should have been in control. I never should have let what I wanted—go that far.”

Duo wasn’t sure which of them was more surprised when he started laughing. Trowa blinked, obviously waiting for the chuckles to reach hysteria, and tried to look soothing. 

“Oh—god. And here I thought Quat had the monopoly on guilt in our fucked up group of psychos.”

“Duo?”

“I mean— are you listening to yourself? So I can’t blame myself for an instinctive response, it wasn’t my fault. But the same instinctive response in _you_ is totally unacceptable? Whatever, dude.”

“Duo.” 

“I’m not an idiot, Trowa.” Duo frowned at him, pulling away from his fingers. “I grew up on the streets. And I knew what you wanted. Hell, I think I’ve probably seen everything two people can possibly do to each other or want from each other at some time in my life.”

“So what if you knew what I wanted?” Trowa tried to take a faint semblance of control over this conversation back. “It doesn’t mean I had the right to take it, even if you were offering. Which you weren’t, by the way.”

“Once I figured out what was happening, I wasn’t fighting back either.” Duo shrugged. “Look. It’s done. Obviously, the fact that you and Heero are both here at the same time means that you’ve worked things out between the two of you. That’s good. That was the one thing I really regretted, that what—what happened might have destroyed what you guys had. And that would have been a damned shame.”

“We did work it out. Heero has known about that side of me from the beginning.”

“Well. Good for you guys. I guess communication in a relationship can be a handy thing after all.” Duo smiled, a little too brightly. “So. You’ve apologized, I guess. You guys are fine. I need to get back to my job.”

“And what about what you wanted?” Trowa shook his head. “What about what you want now?”

“I—“ Duo looked away, unable to meet the intense green eyes locked onto his own. “I don’t know what I want— or what I wanted. Except not to hurt Heero.”

“Well, we’re hardly in disagreement about that.” Trowa stepped back, and Duo found himself sucking in air as if only just realizing he’d been holding his breath. “But what about you?”

“What?”

“You can’t tell me that this is what you want, running and hiding from everyone because of a stupid—”

“It’s what I do best, Tro.”

“No, I don’t think it is.” Trowa grinned at him now, finally daring to let the fierce grin show. “Or— it won’t be. Not when I’m done with you.”

“Uh, Tro? You’re losing me here, dude.”

“How do you think I found you, Duo?”

“Um— Heero’s unbelievably mad hacking skills?”

“No.” Trowa folded his arms, watching the way Duo instinctively straightened without even realizing it. “Try again.”

“Look, man, we can play twenty questions all day. Just tell me. Okay?”

“So impatient.” Trowa relented at the frustrated anger in Duo’s eyes. “I found you, because you went to D’Arnot’s. Because you are still trying to work out what you want.”

“Well—fuck.” Duo matched his stance, arms folded, but Trowa could see the first signs that he was bending. “So much for their claims of discretion.”

“You aren’t exactly hard to recognize, Duo. Or have you forgotten that your execution was supposed to be on every vidscreen across Earth and the Colonies?” Trowa smiled, a little more gently. “Besides, no one told me you were there, or compromised your identity.”

“Then how…? Oh. You were there.”

Trowa nodded, and watched with something close to interest as Duo cracked just a little more. “You won’t find what you want at D’Arnot’s.”

“Yeah, well— I’d figured that out. But thanks for the tip.” Duo forced a smile, and started to turn away, only to freeze when Trowa’s hand fell hard onto his shoulder.

“Trowa,” Duo glanced up at him, his blue eyes suddenly looking almost flat grey with anger and something else that rocked Trowa to his core. “No. Whatever you’re thinking— no. You’re with _Heero_. He’s my best friend.”

“Duo.” Two arms slipped around his waist, stopping his retreat. “You don’t have to refuse for my sake.”

“H-Heero?” Duo turned his head, looking shocked and suddenly very young. “What are you doing?”

“Making sure you don’t run again. At least not for the wrong reason.”

“But…”

“Trowa isn’t the only one asking, this time.” Heero tightened his arms just a little. “And he is _asking_. This time.”

Duo realized he was holding his breath again, gaze swinging between two pairs of earnest and hopeful eyes, when the world started to get very fuzzy.

“We both are.”

“But…”

“You know, that seems to be his favorite word these days.” Trowa glanced at Heero with a faint grin.

“You’ll have to break him of that, then.” Heero loosened his arms just enough for Duo to suck in a startled gasp of air. “Come on, Duo. Don’t make us keep chasing you across the universe to ask you to join us.”

“Across the universe?” Duo managed a laugh, feeling tension starting to drain away for the first time in a year. “I live two towns away from you guys.”

“Which was very sneaky, by the way,” Heero muttered in his ear with a soft laugh.

“The far reaches of the universe, Duo.” Trowa reached out again, hesitantly brushing long hair back out of blue eyes. “At least give us a chance to prove we want this?”

Duo stared at them both for a long time, before finally nodding. “Okay. Against my better judgment, fine. You’ve got a chance to convince me.”

“A chance is all we need, Duo.” 

Before he could say anything else, he was being turned in Heero’s arms, and his best friend’s lips were covering his in a kiss that was clearly meant to melt any remaining resistance to the idea. Duo smiled into it, and decided to keep to himself the fact that they’d already convinced him, by spending the last year looking.


End file.
